In This Section
TV Guide Spotlight
Also on TVGuide.com
|
« Kris's Korner
Busy Much? AKA – Raising Kids Today
What does this have to do with TV? Give me a minute and I’ll get there.
For quite some time, I’ve known that my kids, and by definition I and my husband, lead very, very busy lives. They’re in school 7.5 hours a day, then there’s after school activities and of course homework. On a good day, they’re in bed by 9:30 (still too late for my oldest who, like her mother, gets grumpy on too little sleep), and on a bad day, like yesterday, it can be after 11pm.  String too many bad days together, and you have meltdowns, again, like yesterday. My oldest (she’s 11, in the 5th grade) had a math test on Tuesday which she says she studied for, but only got a 76%. Not the end of the world, but not what she’s capable of if we know about it ahead of time and remind her to study, oh, say the weekend before, not just the night before. So my hubby is trying to help her with the concepts that she missed, and poor thing is struggling to get it. It’s pre-algebra, complete with variables and such, but she’s so tired, her brain just can’t wrap around the concepts.
Let me back up a couple of days. No, let me give you her general schedule, then jump to the specifics of the last few days (and yes, I will get to TV, I promise). She has dance 2 days a week, soccer the other 3, plus a game on Sunday. Busy girl! Oh, and guitar before dance on one of those days. Last weekend, she and I actually bailed on her younger sister’s soccer game, as I wasn’t feeling well. While I slept, she was on the computer playing a game, then she was outside for a bit. She says she studied a bit too. I’m dubious. Sunday was dance recital day (missed the soccer game), so we were at the theater all day (10am to after 5pm), then dinner and bed. Monday was soccer and homework, Tuesday was the math test, plus an evening recital at school, she bailed on dance that night. So after soccer last night, she lets us know how she did on this test we knew nothing about. She’s upset, because she knows we have high expectations. Long story short, we try to help her understand the ones she got wrong (their teacher has them do corrections) and the poor thing is up until nearly 11pm completing this and her other homework. 6am wake up call, and she wants to do nothing more than sleep. But, trouper that she is, she’s up and going, though not happily. And tonight it’s guitar, homework, dance, homework (?), and then sleep.
OK, now to the TV bit. In and around all the activities and homework, I watch way too much TV. During the regular TV season, there’s at least 1 show per night that I watch, some nights it’s 3-4. So, I get home from schlepping one or both kids around, (oh, yeah, dinner is in there too) get them through homework, THEN I watch TV. OK, some nights I have the headphones on to watch TV, then I ‘ignore’ the calls for help, since hubby can, and does, help too. Guilty! Can you say midnight or later for me? And I’m the one getting everyone else up in the morning. Add grumpy mom plus at least one grumpy kid, and boy my house is fun!
But, honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing!  My kids love their activities, I love watching them, and I love my TV! But boy is it different from when I was a kid not so long ago. After school activities consisted of my mom telling us to go outside and play! (My hubby had an experience similar to that of my kids though, so I guess it may not be so different.)
Oldest may be dropping an activity next school year anyway, as conflicts arise and we learn all about 6th grade. But until then, I'm running around like crazy!
|
|
|
|
Apr 17, 2008 4:10 PM
|
|
Wow! That's a busy schedule. I honestly think that some teachers give way too much homework (and they did when I was in school too). They seem to think you ONLY have their class so you have plenty of time to do 100 problems easily.
|
|
Apr 17, 2008 5:19 PM
|
You are in for a big shock if your transition from 5th to 6th grade was anything like ours. Our elementary is K-5th and middle school is 6th-8th grades. My son really struggled in 6th grade last year but is doing much better in 7th grade.
Our family rule is one sport at a time. Even that gets a little hectic because we also have church activities and our younger son is in cub scouts. Some weeks it seems like we are never together as a family, just using the house as a way station while we move from one activity to another.
I'm with you on the late nights, because I really enjoy watching a LOT of TV, and much of it has to wait until I can get everybody else settled down for the night.
|
|
Apr 17, 2008 5:55 PM
|
Oh no.. the poor thing. Dropping an activity might be a good idea. When I hit 6th grade, I started french immersion. (All my siblings did too) Let me tell you the homework we recieved in 6 and 7th grade was more then I have ever recieved in grades 8-12 and college. It was sick. My parents were shocked at the load we were given.
I hope things go well for your kiddies, and even with high standards, some times it is ok to get 76% on a test. Life happens right?
|
|
Apr 17, 2008 6:05 PM
|
|
I often wonder what kids of today would do if you dropped them back about 40 - 50 years when you were lucky if you had girl scouts and piano lessons. Only the rich kids did much more than that in my day. I think kids are given too much to do and it robs them of being kids. I know it makes them competitive in this crazy world. There is still something to be said for riding your bike or playing a game for fun and nothing else.
|
|
Apr 17, 2008 7:12 PM
|
|
After reading that I'm so happy that I can't afford all of those activities. I have a hard enough time getting them to do their homework and studying. The younger 2 (8 & 11) are in bed at 8 PM & the oldest is in bed by 9 PM at the latest. We're up at 6 AM to get ready for school and some days it's still hard. And it's awful if I'm tired and one or more of the kids are, too much conflict.
|
|
Apr 17, 2008 7:54 PM
|
Mannie-We actually had that with our math teacher. Though it wasn't so much the homework, it was the tests that took 3-4 class periods for everyone to finish. It took the daughter of the head of the lower school to be in the class to have any changes made. Now most tests are done in one class.
TX Genie-That's what I'm afraid of! Though I think she's heading towards dropping at least one night of dance already. So we'll have to see. (note to self-talk to middle school parents!)
indy-Yeah, if only she didn't love them all so much. Though I have to admit, 2 activities that take up the week is better than we did several years ago. I had them in gymnastics, swimming, drama, and soccer! So we're definitely doing better! I have to balance what they want to do with what their grandmother wants them to do too (she's the one who carted hubby around when he was little!).
Cindy-I don't know what they would do without the activities, computers, nintendo, playstation, and all the gadgets we have now! I do think though that the activities teach them prioritization and how to say no, to some extent. And yes, I do throw them outside every so often too!
Trish-I hear you! I'm glad to be able to give them these activities, because they truly do enjoy them. But my house is not a happy place when we're all tired. Fortunately soccer isn't year-round (at least the practices aren't), so they do get down-time during the winter months. But man do spring and fall suck!
|
|
Apr 17, 2008 10:01 PM
|
Well, this is certainly different from what it was like when I was that age (though not different from what my nieces and nephews and cousins who are that age go through). I wanted to join Brownies/Girl Scouts, learn piano or violin, and be involved in all sorts of activities. My parents didn't think it was a good idea. They came from households where school was a child's number one responsibility. When my mom was a teenager she wanted to learn to play guitar and my grandfather said she would have to wait until she finished school first (by finished, I mean graduated). So, I didn't have any afterschool activities or sports on my transcript until I was in high school.
Incidentally, my parents didn't think the schools gave us enough homework, so my parents gave me additional homework on the weekends. That included learning the times tables up to 20, learning surahs and other verses from the Qura'an, and writing a page of English and a page of Bengali handwriting. Every weekend, plus chores, before I could go out and play.
My mom taught me pretty much all of this (although my dad gave me extra math homework for years). I loathed it back then but I'm at least grateful that my mom taught me to read and write in Bengali, since most first generation kids don't have that ability.
|
|
Apr 18, 2008 8:56 AM
|
|
I had a packed schedule like that when I was in school, too, and sometimes I look back on it now and wonder how I didn't collapse on some days! It did teach me good time management, though, and I honestly think I learned as much, if not more, from my activities, as I did from anything I did in a classroom. It can get overwhelming, though, so I'm glad you daughter knows when to drop an activity or two. If she's like me a bunch of activities will probably become 2 or 3 that she wants to take seriously as she gets older...which, unfortunately, won't take up any less time.
|
|
Apr 18, 2008 10:25 AM
|
|
|
